STUCK IN A RUT !!

EVER BEEN STUCK IN A RUT 

Have you?, I have. Ever been stuck in a rut

Everyone probably thinks I’m a nut

It’s hard to get out of it, once you are there

Id just rather stay in, sitting in my chair 

How did I get, so into myself 

You might as well, put me up on the shelf 

Just so long as I have food and water to drink

Just leave me alone, so I can think 

Thinking to much, is not good for me I know 

But what else can I do? these thoughts I have, they tend grow 

Feelings are personal, to each and everyone 

So when I’m like this, I need a good, kick up the bum

I try very hard, not to get trapped inside

But sometimes I just want to, go away and hide

To be a burden, is something I just don’t want to become

I just want to be, a normal, Wife, Gran and Mum

So I’m going to fight, to get out of this rut

Give myself, a good dam kick up the butt 

I’m not saying that it’s not going to happen again

It happens, when life gets too much, dealing with my conditions & pain

Written by Shelley Edwards 

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SYMPTOMS, SYMPTOMS, SYMPTOMS !!!

  

THESE THINGS – POETRY WITH IMAGE 

  

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! 

VISIT – NEUROLOGIST- DIAGNOSIS- OVERLOAD – ENOUGH IS ENOUGH UPDATE 

For the people who know me, know that I have been suffering with my problems for many years, since I was in my mid-twenties. 

For others , Here is a quick rundown of events 

Suffered weakness in limbs , chronic pain, fatigue , painful muscle spasms, Was diagnosed after many tests including bloods , clinical tests, electrical stimulation tests, carpel tunnel surgery, was finally told I had Charcot – Marie tooth disease, was given medication and told to go live my life, which I did, that was in my mid twenties.

Had pneumonia, and fast heartbeat in my mid forties so I was taken to hospital, had anti-biotics intravenous fed, and my heart stopped twice via injection. Which cured and brought heartbeat to normal. Thank goodness for that .

Then not long after started to get a tremor down my right side, thinking this may have something to do with Charcot , waited for six months before visiting doctor, but the family made me go. I was given beta blockers and the doctor made appointment to see neurologist. The first neurologist I saw for five minutes, decided I had a benign essential tremor , gave me trihexephenadyl, and that was that, I returned as no improvement. So He put me on to another neurologist that specialised in movement disorders. More bloods, MRI , and he wasn’t sure, so he sent me to a doctor in London. Who told me he thought it might be chemical related, but needed for me to have a dat scan , the results came back ,I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. At the age of 50 !! 

Then just as I was getting used to my neurologist, he leaves. 

When I see new neurologist, I was then given the diagnosis of Fybromalgia, which explained my chronic pain. That I had been suffering for many years with.

Off to pain clinic, which I had visited before, I’d had numerous medications that they tried, nerve block, lignocaine infusion,

Then on this recent visit, I was given the diagnosis of functional movement disorder, I just broke down. As I really can’t understand what is going on. 

Apart from all that, I’ve been pre-menopausal for the last few years, also I have asthma/copd 

They are going to trial me on levodopa to see if it may help, no guarantees though. Because of functional disorder. 

And being referred to another functional movement disorder specialist. For a second opinion , oh joy!! 

Now I’m normally upbeat and can deal. 

But this has floored me, can you blame me though?
Written by Shelley Edwards 😠 

SYMPTOMS , SYMPTOMS , SYMPTOMS 

I can handle in one hand ,the tremor and the shake

But now it’s in the other hand, oh!! , for goodness sake

Please, please , cant you just give me a break!!!!

Being too slow, Is not too bad

Is it ? , At least I can move

So I should, I suppose, be glad

Now the amount of pain I’m in each day , is really tough to take

My quality of life , is really not that great

But I get by, as I’ve got, no other choice

At least I am very lucky.  to still, have my voice

I never knew that I would be visiting the ladies room so often

It happens quite frequently, that I need to spend time in there

whats that all about?, it may be embarrassing 😳but I had to share

Sleep, Whats that?, I seem not to have a need to slumber

Instead I am awake throughout the night, all on my own

Thinking , and in pain,  sitting on the sofa, wide awake, in my dressing gown

Medications that have to be taken, at intervals , during the day

Ive taken so many different pills and potions for my aches and pains

None have helped me to feel good, its a good job I’ve forgotten there names

My mind plays tricks on me , and so do my words

I’ll walk into a room, forget why, also my mouth trips me up

Whatever comes out of it , Is normally pot luck 

I feel as though , Im totally on my own.

I know I am not, as I have a wonderful family around me

But the only one who really knows , whats going on, Is Me…….

I try so hard to be, always bright and sunny

How ? With strength, determination and true grit

As the struggles that I go through, just ain’t that funny 

I have those days , which I’m sure everyone does 

Thank god, my moods are few and far apart

As I’m determined not to let it get to me. 

I’d rather be known, as being strong and happy in my heart 😊

Written by Shelley Edwards 😊

TWO HANDS👐

Two hands are very useful 👐
I’m sure you will all agree
But when you only have one that’s stable ✋
It’s a pain in the arse , and it really, really annoys me 😬

Our hands which are taken for granted
When a person is able and well
So maybe, it’s not noticed how much they are used together
Until one of them becomes unusable , then everything you try to do with them , is just hell !!

Every day when I put my toothpaste on the brush
With one hand that’s still, and the other shakes so much
It’s amazing how I do it , but Sometimes I don’t ,
and then it squirts all over the place
Sometimes it even hits me in the face ☺️

Now making a cuppa coffee , now how hard can that be
It’s only One spoonful , to put in the cup
But More often than not, I spill it
I then have to clean it all up 😬

Cutting a vegetable or a piece of cheese
If you saw me doing this ,
you’d probably say,
‘let me do that for you !!!! please ,please, please 😬

When taking my pills , now that is not an easy thing to do,💊
In fact , it’s just as hard when tying a shoe👟
Just more of the different ways you have to use the good hand , on its own
I really think sometimes , why bother , they will only come undone ☺️

Nearly everyday, when I put on my make-up💄
What a muddle and laugh, that can be ☺️
As while putting mascara and eyeliner, just one slip!!
And it’s in my eye , so then I cannot see ☺️

I was able once , to do these things
Without a single thought. 💭
But now everyday In the things I do
It makes me rather fraught 😬

It’s not easy. In fact it’s really hard
To come to terms , with this,
and to keep on smiling through 😊
But because I will not give up , I will find a way
To do the things I do , everyday 😊

It’s not going to beat me , I’ll make sure of that
I’ll keep on smiling on through , and that’s a fact

Written by Shelley Edwards 😀