STAY STRONG & KEEP GOING ON!

THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW!

My mind is willing , but my body is weak!

Just being symptom free, is all I seek!

My body to be free from all this pain!

To be free from the tremors, to be still again!

To be able to go anywhere, anytime!

To be able to walk, run and climb!

This is all I want, Nothing else, no more!

This is all I’m asking for!

I often forget, how my life was before 

Wishing I was back there, that’s for sure!

No chance of that, this I know now!

So on with the fight, staying strong, the only way I know how!

Written by Shelley Edwards (c)

 

MAGICAL WISH

A MAGICAL WISH

I’m feeling quite poorly today

I’m so fed up with feeling this way

I feel sick to my stomach, and being in pain

I’m hoping tomorrow, I don’t feel the same

I just hate to moan about how I feel 

I expect you feel the same, when it’s hard to deal

My days are wasted, when I feel this way

Which is pretty much, honestly, every day!

I don’t know how much longer, I can stay strong 

I’ve had enough of it now, please tell me , I’m not wrong!

So today is ruined, like every day has been for many a year 

It’s shit! , having PD , C.M.T. Chronic Pain. Fibromyalgia. No! I’m not shedding another tear 

I just wish I was a magician, I’d wave my wand, and they would all disappear💫

Written by Shelley Edwards (c)

THE REAL ME

Here I am again, talking about my pain

But if you were me, I think you, would do the same 

There’s a pain in my fingers and a pain in my toes

I think the only body part that isn’t in pain , is my nose 

Just getting out of bed in the morning, is really hard to do

I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but if you were in my shoe

Would you push to get up? or would you stay in bed?

Sometimes, I’m not kidding, my legs are like lead

It’s like walking through mud, the mud that’s really thick

Every step I take is painful, and it makes me feel sick 

Once I’m up, and I’ve taken all the pills , that I need to take 

You’d think the pain would ease and it would lessen the ache

Unfortunately I’m dreaming, I am still suffering quite bad, it’s true 

But I still keep going, with my strength, just struggling through 

I often wonder, what it would be like, to have no pain 

Just thinking what I could do, if I was human, once again

But then I wake up, and realise it’s all just a dream 

The pain I’m in is real and it hurts, I just want to scream 

I guess I’ll carry on , living with the pain I’m in

Until the day comes, when I can’t fight anymore,and I have to give in.

I’ll keep on fighting, staying strong, I promise, as long as I can

Because I’ve always been a fighter, that’s just who I am.

Written by Shelley Edwards (c)

GRUMPY. WHO ME ?

GRUMPY TIME  

I was feeling a need for me to share 

To get my thoughts out into the air

And show you how I’m feeling right now 

Cause some of these things, just don’t show 

I know you can see the Shaking & Tremors in me

But what you don’t see is how it really affects me

Ok, So, I’m having some stillness throughout the day

But what I’d really like, is for the tremors to go away

I’d also really like to know, why is it, that I feel so slow 

When all I really want to do, Is Get up and Go

But I’m afraid to say, my Get up and Go, has long gone 

Why can’t I be normal, and just be able to move & get on 

The thing that really gets to me & angers me so much

Is the Pain that People cannot See, Are they really that Out of Touch?

I’m sick & tired of saying, I’m Fine & I’m Doing Ok

When, What I really should Say is Stop asking Stupid Questions, Just go away!  

Being able to walk around, without being Pained

Or just getting through the day, without feeling Drained 

Just to be able to plan and go out for the day, maybe just into town

It’s never that easy, as on the day, who knows, if I’m Up or if I’m Down

The Frustration and Sadness, of all the years, that have gone by

So I’m having a moan, it’s totally understandable if I cry

So I need a little break, from all this pain & this strife

Just to be Still,  Calm, Pain free and at Peace with my Life 

Thankyou so much for reading & letting me have a moan 

It’s really done me good. To have a Grump & a Groan

Glad I’ve now got my feelings out, in the only way, I know how  

I’ve got it off my chest, So I’ll stop bothering you now

Written by Shelley Edwards (c)

IS MY MIND PLAYING TRICKS!

AM I LOSING MY MIND!

I’ve been having these thoughts of times gone by

Memories of some good days, and some that make me cry

I love to reminisce & look back at those days, I cannot lie 

A photo sparks a memory or something may catch my eye 

I have this fear of losing, my memories that I hold so dear

What if I forget! What will I do! Will I really care!

Some memories are fading, I’m forgetting certain times!

I’m really trying hard, not to read between the lines!

Could it be the start, of my mind, slowly falling apart!

When it happens, if I happens, Will it break my heart!

I guess I won’t care! Because I won’t know who I am!

Who anyone is! Where I live! I probably won’t give a damn!

I hope it’s just my age, that’s making me feel like this

Forgetting little things, and them words that go amiss 

Ok, you might think I’m crazy, I guess you may be right 

This is something that scares me and gives me quite a fright

I’m being very honest, my words may be quite sad but true 

If you were me? Maybe, you would be thinking it too……..

Written by Shelley Edwards (c)

DREAMING

DREAMS

My dreams of how my life could have been 

Are coming through thick and fast, when I dream

But I know those dreams, cannot forever last

As they are just a memory, taken from my past

I dreamed of dancing, around and around

And enjoying my feet moving to the musics sound 

And now thinking of how much I wish I could dance

Which I used to enjoy, a lot, but not now, no chance 

I also dreamed of playing in the sand and sea

Enjoying a piña colada, sitting on a hotel balcony

Just holidaying in the sun, having fun & feeling  free

And touring the country , for all the sights to see.

I dreamed of being normal and living my life  

And living every day in full, without all this strife

Without the pain and diseases that I have within me

But obviously it’s not what my life was destined to be 

I dreamed of helping everyone, who needs me, it’s true 

And being there for good or bad, by helping them through 

It’s something I dreamed of doing and much much more 

If only I could do this, It makes me mad, right down to my core

I dreamed of walking down the road with my stiletto shoes on

Strutting around, walking about, those times are long gone 

Back to reality though, I obviously can’t do that, it’s for sure

I definitely can’t do that , I’d be flat on my face on the floor 

I dreamed of running a marathon

Every day , fighting fit and strong 

Am I kidding myself, OK, am I wrong?

So should I dream ? or should I not ? What’s right? What’s wrong? 

Is it healthy , make-believing a time, where I am fit and strong 

When I can do these things and feel fine and well 

Or should I live life , feeling low, should I dwell 

I definitely don’t think I should do that , do you ?

As I’m definitely not one for feeling down and blue

I’m still alive and kicking, I can still laugh and smile,  

So I’m going to carry on dreaming, for a long , long while ……

Written by Shelley Edwards (c) 

I FEEL SO SICK TODAY 😷😊

I feel so sick today 

What’s the reason? 

I cannot say 

I just can’t get my shit together 

How ever hard I try 

Why am I feeling like this 

Why ,oh why ,oh why ? 

So am I going to have to suck it up 

Move on , stay strong 

And pick myself up 

Cause there’s nothing worse than feeling like this 

And not being able 

I’ve got so much to do 

But when I’m feeling like this, 

I’d rather hide under the table 

Is it the medications I take 

Or the dopermine in my brain 

That make me feel quite insane 

And throw up again and again 

Pop another anti-sickness pill 

That should stop me from being sick 

I breathe a sudden sigh of relief 

Because it really does get on my wick 

I have these days where I feel so unwell 

The pain just makes my belly swell 

But no-one would know I’m feeling like this 

Because why should they, would they give a piss 

Excuse my language and words of gloom

It’s inevitable I should write this down 

Warts and all, is how I roll now, what you see is what you get

Because there’s light and shade in everything,

If it’s too hard to handle, you can just get 

I wrote this cause it’s how I feel today

Not every day, I feel this way 

Thank goodness , I’m strong enough and can still fight 

And I am always looking for the light 

Smiles and laughter all the way 

For my soul , and body , to not feel that way 😊 

Written by Shelley Edwards 😷☺️